A widely known truth in my elementary school was that eating raw (unheated) Top Ramen gave you worms. As I eat my chewy, barely “cooked” noodles, I am glad my inner child now knows better. However, I don’t remember Top Ramen being so…fluorescent. What is this traffic-stopping crud clinging to the side of my paper cup? I’m glad the term “chickenized” has been added to my vocabulary because without it I would be lost in describing its flavor. Mostly, it tastes like salt. The Diet Coke tastes like sour water as I was too afraid of the sweetener (I get migraines from it) to pour much and I let it set until it went flat. It does nothing to quench my thirst from the sodium. As the minutes go by, I’m still thirsty and now there’s a thick film of what tastes like…well, sick! Seriously, it tastes like vomit.
When I’m up late at night, craving junk food, I often wonder why my body wants commodified tastes. Truth is, I know why. Sugar is addicting. I can hardly find a healthy snack that I honestly think is as delicious as Swedish Fish or root beer. I try to trick myself into thinking blackberry yogurt or apple slices will quench my desire for a Nutella milkshake but my body knows better. It won’t be fooled. It wants processed, simple sugars. Despite the vomit and sour water taste our Diet Coke and Top Ramen experiment is leaving in my mouth, the food leaves me craving more.
The last thing I think of as I gulp down the final forkfuls of this experiment is the time in Uganda when my dad fed his German Shepherd, Ben, leftover Ramen and, undigested, it came out the same way it went in. Mary, a Ugandan friend of the family who is unfamiliar with most processed and packaged foods, saw Ben’s droppings and proclaimed, “The dog has worms!” …fitting.
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